DJ’s Diner

There is a joint not too far from my house that’s been around as long as I can remember. My sister, who was ten years my senior, used to work there when I was in kindergarten and I can remember driving there with my mom at night to get ice cream cones. My sister got pretty good at stacking the ice cream up so high I thought it was going to hit the ceiling. It seemed like the proper place for my VERY FIRST hot dog review.

As you can see above, it’s nothing fancy. It’s next to some Baptist Church that I have never been to, and on the other side there’s a hair salon. Getting into drive thru was kind of tough because there were so many people in line! These dogs must be out of this world.

I got progressively more excited when I approached the menu, and when I did I immediately spotted the dogs right near this woman’s baker’s hat. Honestly she looks like she’s going to beat me with a hot dog, but at this point I’ve been waiting in line so long I just might let her do it if I could manage to time it so I could take a bite as she hit me.

Four dogs are available at DJ’s, and since I am no slouch, I ordered the 3 that actually seem to have something going on. I ordered the DJ SUPREME, the CHILI DOG, and the POLISH DOG (which is not a traditional hot dog but I felt like it had a pretty decent shot at being good). I also ordered french fries and a large diet coke….because balance.

I paid for my food which came out to be $12.74. Not bad for a triple threat dog situation. I happily paid my pennies and took my dogs home.

I’d give them a 2/5 on presentation. I’m not too much of a stickler for what food looks like but I didn’t really like that it wasn’t in some kind of styrofoam container. These flimsy paper covers soaked up some hot dog juice and half of the toppings got smooshed. But now for the big reveal:

Woof. What a set of dogs. From left to right we have: the polish dog, the chili dog, and the DJ SUPREME which looks like it’s been hanging out in the garbage can.

I decided to taste the middle one first: America’s sweetheart the standard chili dog. Upon first taste, I noticed that the bun was warm and soft. The chili had a good flavor. I was surprised to see what I considered the weenie of the poor: the red hot dog weenie. I was certain we’d see a higher quality weenie from a restaurant that just charged me 3 bucks for this dog, but I digress. I’d give their chili dog a solid 4/5 because it gave me what I came for. And sometimes that red weenie really does hit the spot.

My next venture was the polish dog. WOW. 10/10. The bun was soft, the polish sausage had been scored down the middle and thrown on the grill to crisp up a bit and the bell peppers and onions that topped it were perfectly cooked. They added a sliver of yellow mustard, which really complimented the entire experience very well. I don’t know if I just love a polish dog, or if this was exceptionally good.

I almost don’t even want to talk about the next dog. This dog is still sitting next to me with just one bite taken out of it while the rest have already been devoured almost an hour ago.

The DJ Supreme may be the worst hot dog I’ve ever shoved into my maw, and honestly considering the life I have lived: that is saying something. It was wet, soggy, the saurkraut was GRAY as you can see in the picture. The chili was somehow cold. The weenie felt rubbery and overcooked. But the most egregious mistep the DJ took was the fact that it was covered in SWEET RELISH. WHO DOES THAT? WHO PUTS SWEET RELISH ON A HOT DOG? IF YOU SAY YOU DO, YOU ARE WRONG. I’d honestly commit a hate crime on this hot dog I hated it so much.

The fries I got were also terrible. They were just cold crinkle cut fries that don’t even deserve to have their picture posted on the internet because frankly, they don’t deserve it.

Okay, fine here they are:

All in all, I’d give the experience a 6/10. The chili dog was relatively tolerable, the polish dog was FANTASTIC, and the DJ Supreme should be completely taken off the menu, and all semblances of it destroyed and burned from the planet.

DJ, if you’re out there. Please shoot that dog.


The Hot Dog Queen

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